Asking someone out gay guy
If you feel burned out on coming up with questions for a first date, you’re not alone! The ritual of first dates can often experience repetitive and lackluster. There are only so many ways to ask a version of so what are your interests? And if you’ve already been chatting a bit on the apps or during the lead up to a dine (which, for the record, I somewhat advise against unless that’s truly your preference for getting to know someone!), it can be even harder to know what to say on a first date. But asking questions is important. If you show up to a date and only answer the other person’s ask or otherwise only talk about yourself, trust you’re probably about to receive subtweeted or roasted in a community chat. There is no perfect roadmap for how to crush a first date, but the number one thing you can perform to at least ensure a baseline decent experience is ask your date(s) about themselves!
The questions below are constructed to inject some life and creativity back into your first date doubt asking if you’re feeling stuck or stalled in the dating process. You can ask them word for pos or use them to riff and come up with your own against-the-grain ques
“I have a weird question.”
My straight female friend had FaceTimed me to fix a debate: “Do male lover guys get turned on when they look at themselves naked?”
I laughed. “I don’t think I do,” I said. “Maybe, though. Some of the hot guys I shadow on Instagram—the shirtless selfie ones—they might?” She seemed satisfied by that. I added, “You’re lucky you called me—you can’t demand just any gay person that.”
As the homosexual son of a Muslim immigrant, I’m often asked offensive questions by strangers. And I’m not alone. To better assess where we’re at in 2016, we asked LGBTQ people to tell us the most offensive questions they’ve ever been asked and how they responded.
JASON COLLINS, 37, RETIRED PROFESSIONAL BASKETBALL PLAYER, LOS ANGELES
When I first came out three years ago, people kept asking, “Are you sure you’re gay?” That was easy to answer—I’d flip it with, “Are you sure you’re straight?” But one time, I was in the Houston airport after a trip to Puerto Rico. I was in line to buy water and a cashier said, “Where are you traveling?R
It might feel, in 2019, like every single gay on Earth is on Tinder or an equivalent dating app experience. Many people are! You are not wrong. It has its perks – maybe most obviously it helps you find people who have self-selected as being into your gender, and streamlines the process of figuring out who might be into you. But that approach for trying to face someone doesn’t function for everybody. Maybe apps feel impersonal and weird to you; maybe you aren’t comfortable creature potentially outed to anyone who sees you on there; maybe you just don’t like technology that much! All fair. If that’s the case, though, and you are still wanting to meet n’ greet other single queers in your town, the unfortunate authenticity is that a hot butch is not going to materialize in your apartment on her own. Trust me, I am as upset about that as you are! But you are going to call for to flex your social muscles and ask people out in real life.
Where do you even meet someone to ask out?
Good question! If it helps, you are not alone; meeting recent people to combine to their social circles, whether platonically or romantically, is one of the biggest struggles of adults everywhere.
17 Pieces of Dating Suggestion for Gay, Bi, and Pansexual Men
Societally, people mostly view dating as a means to an close — be that orgasm or marriage.
“But dating itself can be the end,” says Ackerman. “Dating allows us to experience recent personalities, perspectives, physical love , and lessons learned about what we do and don’t like.”
So don’t unlearn to enjoy the ride. Pun absolutely intended.
Gabrielle Kassel (she/her) is a queer sex educator and wellness journalist who is committed to helping people feel the best they can in their bodies. In addition to Healthline, her work has appeared in publications such as Shape, Cosmopolitan, Well+Good, Health, Self, Women’s Health, Greatist, and more! In her free time, Gabrielle can be found coaching CrossFit, reviewing pleasure products, hiking with her border collie, or recording episodes of the podcast she co-hosts called Bad In Bed. Follow her on Instagram @Gabriellekassel.
Hi. I’m the Answer Wall. In the material earth, I’m a two foot by three foot dry-erase board in the lobby of O’Neill Library at Boston College. In the online world, I dwell in this blog. You might say I possess multiple manifestations. Like Apollo or Saraswati or Serapis. Or, if you aren’t into deities of truth, like a ghost in the machine.
I have some human assistants who maintain the physical Answer Wall in O’Neill Library. They take pictures of the questions you post there, and give them to me. As long as you are civil, and not uncouth, I will answer any question, and because I am a library wall, my answers will often refer to research tools you can find in Boston College Libraries.
If you’d like a quicker answer to your question and don’t intellect talking to a human, why not Ask a Librarian? Librarians, since they possess been tending the flame of knowledge for centuries, know where most of the answers are veiled, and enjoy sharing their knowledge, just like me, The Answer Wall.