I think my bf is bisexual
Re: I think my boyfriend/girlfriend is bisexual
Unread postby Sam W »
Hi dark_sunshine,
Can I ask how you know he's operational towards telling you he's bi? For instance, has he talked about questioning his orientation or seemed to ask a lot of questions about your views on things prefer bisexuality?
When you say you feel fond a "second," it sounds like part of what's going on is that you're assuming he really wants to be with a boy, but feels like being with a girl is safer and so he's dating you. That's actually common feeling people have around bisexuality; the assumption that there's one gender a bi person would prefer to be with, and that if they're not with a person of that gender they're just biding their time until they can jump ship. But that's not how bisexuality works. If your spouse is with you, it makes sense to faith that you're who he wants to be with, not that he's secretly wishing he was with someone else (and if you feel like that isn't something you can trust, then that's a sign there may be a deeper issue in the relationship).
With that discomfort imagining he might have had anal sex specifically with another guy, I'm still having a little trouble understan
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Dear Kiki,
My boyfriend is marvelous and feminist and sex positive, but he has issues with me entity bisexual. It’s not that he’s openly raged at me or anything. It’s just that whenever it happens to come up, you can see the micro-flicker of discomfort on his face that he’s trying to suppress. I know it’s normal to feel a little uncomfortable at the idea of your partner having a past, but he feels especially threatened by the idea of me checking out a girl over a guy (when I actually don’t check out anyone; I’m too in love with him to really notice anyone else in that way). This is just one example, and it’s a one-off, but this sort of thing has happened. I’ve tried asking him about it and explaining all my feelings about this gently and directly… No dice. He acts enjoy it’s fine because it bothers him that it bothers him or he just clams up. What do I do?
How I Came Out To My Partner
“I think I’m bisexual.”
I said to William one night in a ramen restaurant. We were in New York Capital, celebrating our one-year anniversary. Naruto, a popular place, was bustling with tourists and locals alike. My husband looked at me perplexed, and I immediately regretted my impulsiveness; I never planned to have this conversation with him in a widespread place.
“Does this represent you want to be in an open relationship?” he asked. We had never talked about my sexual self before, though it was something I’d always wondered about.
I didn’t have an answer. All I knew is that I wanted William to be there with me as we figured out what was next.
“No amount of reading, googling, or talking to friends could help me determine what was finest for my association. I needed to understand what creature bisexual meant for me.”
Only a not many weeks before our trip did I admit my bisexuality to myself and then to a friend. I needed someone to be there with me as I explored my internalized biphobia. Growing up in a culture where heterosexuality is assumed the default, I only ever questioned my sexuality in silence. I was ashamed and worried that I mig
I was lucky enough to discover my bisexuality when I was a unattached guy, so I never had to come out to a girlfriend while we were in a committed relationship. Still, I have some idea of how intimidating it might feel for a partner to come out to his partner in a “heterosexual relationship.” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had men—especially older gay men—cock their heads to the side when I narrate them I’m bisexual. I’ve even heard the response, “Oh, yeah? I was once bi, too.” I have to do everything in my power not to yell, “Just because you used ‘bi’ as a stepping-stone to homosexual doesn’t mean I am. It turns out everyone doesn’t have the alike exact sexual journey and attractions as you perform, you self-centered schmuck!”
That’s the thing about coming out as a bisexual guy, either to a boyfriend or just to anyone at all: People often don’t believe us. They think we’re just taking a pitstop on the way to Gay Town. On the flip side, if they do consider we’re “genuinely” bisexual (whatever the fuck that means), they’ll then assume a buttload of negative stereotypes about us: We’re excessive, we’re confused, we spread STIs, we’re incapable of being monogamous, and so on. And if you’re a
Sexplain It: How Perform I Tell My Boyfriend I Ponder He's Bi?
I'm Zachary Zane, a sex columnist and writer of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto. Over the years, I've had my fair share of sexual experiences, matchmaking app and sleeping with hundreds of people of all genders and orientations. In doing so, I've learned a thing or two about navigating issues in the bedroom (and many other places, TBH). I'm here to answer your most pressing sex questions with thorough, actionable advice that isn't just "communicate with your partner" because you comprehend that already. Question me anything—literally, anything—and I will gladly Sexplain It.
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Dear Sexplain It,
I’m currently with a man I’ve acknowledged for many years. He is extremely sexually experienced, and has shared some of his fantasies and experiences with men with me. While discussing this, he explained that he likes to bottom for men and would only top if they’re quite feminine physically (i.e., no chest hair, etc). He was very adamant he does not want affection or anything romantic with men, but just sexually likes organism with them. He simply finds giving pleasure to